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Category: Pure Fiction

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Rolling bowls tolerate no drama

Rolling bowls tolerate no drama

Annual champion of the Melbourne Bowls Club tournament, Geoffrey Blake, has been banned from the sport after a spiteful acceptance speech blaming the runner-up for a slew of abuse and ongoing mental health issues. Mr Blake, president of the Oakley Bowls Club, graciously accepted the trophy, before launching into a tirade of accusations at runner-up and long time rival Les Brady, saying he was “sick of his unscrupulous accusations” and they were “playing havoc with my mental health”. Whilst the…

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Cold August night raises fears for lost firefighters

Cold August night raises fears for lost firefighters

Three firefighters are missing from the Mornington Peninsula after they did not return from a fishing trip last night, despite police efforts to locate them in freezing conditions. The three men, Mr Fred Smith, John Taylor and Bill Smith, left Sorrento yesterday afternoon into the coldest August night in 23 years. Police commenced the rescue at dawn today after being alerted, but hours of searching failed to uncover any clues to their whereabouts. Inspector Rod Cathall, heading the investigation, said…

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Nukem proposes nuclear deterrent for Australia

Nukem proposes nuclear deterrent for Australia

Nuclear advocate┬áJohn Nukem adressed the Northern Suburbs Liberal Club last night, touting the benefits of nuclear energy to the northern states and the viability of Australia’s own nuclear deterrent. While the economic discussion focussed on the potential impact of cheap, sustainable power, Mr Nukem did not shy away from a myriad of other military uses for our uranium reserves. Amongst proposing nuclear blasting to clear dams and mines with no clear clean-up proposal, he also spoke favourably of equipping “any…

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